Self-Made Mom

• Don’t look at me that way. In 5-10 years, you too, may find yourself dragging a screaming toddler up the escalator on the way to find velvet throw pillows to cover the puke stains on your couch.
• Trust me, a toddler throwing grapes on the floor is much better than smushing them in his hands.
• You most likely won’t ever hold your significant other’s hand while shopping for silverware again.
• I guarantee you’ll never unpack that Krups ice cream maker. It’s ok.  Four years later and I haven’t opened mine yet.

Still dusty after all these years.

• The love you have for each other will never equal the love you have for a brand-new set of non-stick Calphalon pans.

And while I was picking on unsuspecting couples at Crate and Barrel, here’s what was happening on the web:

• The Secret Lives of Soccer Moms goes postal: I realized that after I talked to Tracey and watched the premiere episode, I forgot to Tivo the series.  Which means I missed out on following all the crazy backlash the show is getting on the web.  Holy crap, people. Get a life. It’s a TV show. Geez.
•  Mickey’s going to be eating matzah one day: The Disney “blunder” is no more. Go Devra! Hope they like your charoset.
• Just what I want to read before going to bed at night: I don’t see the point of reading a fictional book about the life I’m leading. Sounds to me like another helping of the Mommy Wars hype with a different title.
• I started a new pet project. Click here to see the beginning of genius.
• ** Edited to add: Have you all seen this new site Alltop? I’ve read about it like 4 times today, so I had to write about it. It collects all the top blogs on the web according to different categories. It’s a great way to see all of your favorite sites’ top 5 posts in a few scrolls of the mouse. There is even a category for mom blogs, but you won’t see me there (yet?) so don’t forget to come back and visit here after you scroll away!

Tags: The Secret Life of Soccer Moms, The Ten-Year Nap, Meg Wolitzer, mommy wars, Disney, Alltop

There must be something in the air, because in the last month I was invited to three events, and pitched for a gazillion others.

I think the internet is coming down with a case of mom marketing mania.

I’m not complaining here. It’s actually quite funny for me. Someone out there thinks I’m influential enough to send me to Disney for the weekend (FREE!?) with Steph and Amy? I’m not even in the same sphere as these ladies. Unfortunately, I had to pass it up because the event falls over everybody’s favorite Jewish holiday, Passover. (An aside: I did mention this to the conference organizer, and she seemed taken aback and apologized for the unfortunate oversight. It’s a bummer, but as I told Devra, I am not sure the general population considers the sacred act of hiding the afikoman when planning fun events that include riding Space Mountain. A cop out? Perhaps, but I try never to take the “forgetting the Jewish holidays thing” too personally.) I wish I could pass over eating matzah in favor of some cotton candy and chocolate Mickey Mouse ears, but alas, I’ll have to wait on that.

I was also invited (coincidentally a former client of mine when I was working) to Johnson’s Camp Baby in lovely New Jersey. The whole conference sounds pretty swank, and again, unfortunately I can’t attend. Something about my son’s birthday and a long-awaited vacation with my husband interfering. Damn families. Too bad, because I wanted to catch up some with Kim.  How many e-mails have been wasted on me? I’m a mom marketing flunkie.

I was, however, lucky enough to get to go to a fab luncheon last week, courtesy of the lovely Charlene.  The luncheon was in honor of Yahoo!’s new website for women, Shine. We got to have lunch at a swank hotel and get a sneak peek into the brilliant minds of some very creative women. Plus, I got to gab with M.J., Leah, Jessica, Danielle, Amy and Erin. I’m eagerly awaiting the site’s launch.  Oh, and another round of that salmon with fingerling potatoes wouldn’t be bad, either.

I’m a little late to this one (see? I’m not that influential, people!), but have you all checked out the site, Mom Logic, yet? The site’s layout is compelling and they write on everything from Halle’s new baby, to fashion and beauty.  If only I had more time to sit and read it.

I can’t even get into all the pitches I’ve received lately as well. I’m seriously not writing all this to say “look at me, I get pitched,” but rather to question some of the PR and marketing folks supposed interest in my blog. Does someone really think that I’m going to write about a “Caribbean Escape contest courtesy of Bahama Breeze?” Because I’ve written so much on my blog about my love for the islands, mon? I sometimes feel like with all the e-mails I get we are degrading the value of how word-of-mouth on blogs can really work.

But I know why everyone in the marketing industry is desperately hunting mom bloggers. This article (thanks, Emily), states that “more than 40 percent of all women who go online have children under 18 at home and that internet usage rate of females who are expecting to have first or second child in the next year is at 94 percent.” (Translated: 94 percent of you suckers actually think the internet has the information you need to raise a child. Muwaahahah. Just kidding.)

While these studies and statistics spout off incredibly high numbers of moms online, marketers need to remember to pay attention to online behavior of moms, not just their usage rate. Just because I tried out and liked a Land’s End diaper bag, doesn’t necessarily mean I want to hawk meal plans or life coaching on my site. 

But a weekend away with the girls? Maybe if I wasn’t a mom with a family to tend to, I could swing it.  Then again, it probably means I wouldn’t have received the invite in the first place.
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Update to this post: Clearly I’m so NOT influential because I haven’t been keeping up on some serious backlash surrounding these events. Devra recaps it all here… Oy Vey is right, D.  Sorry, Julie and Stefania.  Wow, this disappoints me big time.  Here’s a link to the response from J&J on the issue.

I remember Tracey Gold most from her days as Carol Seaver on the ’80s hit “Growing Pains.”  But Tracey, with her long career in acting, is much more than just a teenage superstar.  Mother of three (with one on the way in 3 1/2 weeks!), Tracey has been through more ups and downs as a woman than anyone I know.  Tonight, she’s starting a new chapter of her career as host of TLC’s new show, “The Secret Life of Soccer Moms.” (The show airs Mondays at 10/9 Central on TLC.) I got the amazing opportunity to talk to Tracey today from my “home office” (who says I’m not working!).  As a mom who just quit her job, I’m selfishly curious about this topic. Read on for my interview and tune back tomorrow for my commentary about the show.

SMM: How did you get involved in “The Secret Life of Soccer Moms”?
TG: I met the head executive of TLC back in June on another project and when he took over TLC he brought me in for this show, and pitched it. He didn’t know I was pregnant, though, so it threw him for a curveball, but I assured him that I could do it being pregnant and that I really relate to all the conflict and guilt of working moms.  Even though it’s a hosting job, I’m a woman and a mom too and I can share in these experiences.  I really thought the show was a great idea, and I couldn’t believe it hadn’t been done before.

SMM: Have you always been a working mom? Or did you take time off yourself?
TG: I have always worked. My job is such that I can work some and then take time to be a stay at home mom. I absolutely love to work and for me it’s a good balance. I’ve never felt like it’s been too much. The good thing about my job is that it’s conducive to being a mom. I know how lucky I am.

SMM: How was it starting a new job while pregnant?
TG: I was ok with it. If it was my first I would have thought differently, I think. But it’s my fourth child and I have had great pregnancies. At the end of the day, people were generally really accepting of it and I think in my industry it’s more acceptable to be pregnant. It’s become the hot new thing! We finished eight episodes, now I’m working to promote it and hopefully it will et picked up.

SMM: Was it hard to find the stay-at-home mom jobs? Were the jobs typically in the same field from ones they had left?
TG: It wasn’t hard to find the jobs, and in terms of the kind of jobs they worked in, it was mixed.  It’s not hard to find moms who wonder ‘what could have been if I took a different path?’ People were receptive and threw themselves into it. All the families were so different in terms of whether or not the moms took the job - some did and some didn’t.  Some moms were crying because they would have liked to have gone back, but there were logistical issues of day care, etc.  This was real life, not just a reality show.  Unfortunately, I don’t think there are a ton of opportunities for moms who’ve been out of the workforce for 10 years.

SMM: Can you tell me a little bit about how the show works?
TG: In the beginning, the moms really don’t know what they’re getting into. The moms go back, they leave and then they are sequestered for three nights doing their jobs. The dads think they are out doing the spa thing! Then on the last day, we bring the dad in and tell him what’s really going on. You get a mixed kind of reaction from the dads and the families. Some are good and some aren’t. Having the husband there adds a different dimension. And having the dad there changed the wife’s perspective too.  The mom could be loving the job, but the dad isn’t loving the idea of the mom working so much and then the mom decides she wants to stay home. No matter what, though, working brought the moms a new-found confidence to stay at home. Being a stay-at-home mom is one of the most under-appreciated jobs around, but it’s the most important one. Once the moms saw themselves being successful at something else it gave them extra confidence once they went home.

SMM: How did the employers treat the moms who went back to work? Did they need to be re-trained?
TG: The employers were hugely supportive and very receptive to helping them. Some moms fit right in and others needed to be caught up. They’d go into the job really excited but realize how hard it was and want to go home where they were loved and appreciated. They liked the safety of being at home.

SMM: What advice did you give to moms on the show? What kind of advice can you give to stay-at-home moms who want to go back to work when their kids are older?
TG: I always feel like I’m going through the same situation other moms are going through. I’m trying to figure it out too as I go and I’m not going to tell anyone what to do.  I think having a good support team is really important. I’m really lucky, as I have my mom and don’t need to have a nanny - it’s a real blessing. What I learned is that these women don’t necessarily ask what’s good for them all the time. They need to start asking what’s good for them and not fall into a trap of being a marytr at home.
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For an interesting debate about the premise and name of the show, check out Elizabeth’s post. Can’t say I disagree with her arguments all that much, but I’ll wait to watch the show before I fully decide how I feel.

Tags: Tracey Gold, TLC, The Secret Life of Soccer Moms, celebrity moms

I love your invention.  I really do.  I spent a lot of money on it.  I defended it when my husband called it a waste of money.  I struggled through putting you together for the first time but was happy with the outcome. Hey, I’m even okay with the fact that the handle on your slim backside doesn’t seem to lock in place all that well.

But please, can you explain to me why you don’t fit through the security belt at O’Hare? I tried you out in West Palm Beach and you worked your way through the X-ray machine like a charm. But apparently the TSA thinks it’s funny to mess with moms traveling with toddlers and have different sized security belts for different cities.

And it was so not cool that I had to put you back together at the end of the security line with only 20 minutes to board my flight and a screaming toddler perched on the end of the cold metal table.  You gotta problem with the Midwest?

Apparently not suited for the busiest airport in the nation.

Who would have thought the people at Apple would care what you did for a living in order to properly register the g-d darn Nano? 

Apparently, recently unemployed SAHM didn’t make the list. Is this what I’m in for?

Sometimes I think I shouldn’t be a blogger.  I never remember to link to anyone and when people send me things to review it takes me an ungodly amount of time to write about it.  But a nice reprieve at my parents’ house this week is allowing me to catch up on a few outstanding links, reviews and miscellaneous bloggy-ness that I’ve long been forgetting. Thank goodness I’m not that popular.

• First up, a new product review of two alternatives to Post-It notes.  If you are one of the first 10 people to comment on the necessity of better list-making skills, I’ll send you a cute little notebook.  So scat!
• When you come back, be sure to read my take on the upcoming holidays.  It’s only the week before Thanksgiving and I’m already sick of Christmas music.  Yep, I think I’m missing that special “holiday spirit” gene.
• I don’t get that politically active, but when it comes to the health and safety of our children I’ll spread the word. The Consumers Union is holding a major awareness campaign to help educate retailers and shoppers about safe toy options.  Check out their site or MySpace page for more information.

Ahh, that feels better.

Getting dressed up and going to work occasionally has its privileges.  Like today, for instance.  I was able to wear my favorite new sweater dress and boots (it’s finally dipped below 50 degrees in Chicago, yay!), and could easily justify sneaking away for a few to attend a mom blogger event.  Add to it that I was able to meet up with some blog friends and I nearly forgot that I was on the hook for at least 10 major client deliverables by the end of the day.  This adequately describes a luncheon I went to today put on by a large office supply company (not sure if my firm represents them so not listing them by name yet) to talk about cool tech-y stuff you can buy for the holidays.  Of course, the tech pro on hand to help us all learn about the newest gadgets and gizmos was none other than Beth of Techmamas. She is the tech savvy one.  Me? As I told the crowd: I can buy the gadgets but I can’t seem to use or fix them properly.

However, I am a good note taker and copiously wrote down some thoughts as you peruse the consumer electronic aisles of your favorite stores. 

1. If you’re going to buy a point and shoot digital camera, go for one with a lot of megapixels. 7.1 works. And an optical zoom of 3X doesn’t hurt either.  When the conversation turned to face recognition, though, I admittedly started eating my lunch and tuning out.  They served a good salad, I mean, chocolate.

 

If you look closely, you might see a teensy weensy bit of chocolate cake left. Just a little bit.

2. Digital photo frames are Paris-Hilton-hot right now.  And they’re not as expensive to buy as they might seem.  I want Wendy to buy me the one she has with the wireless card that updates the photos on the frame as they are uploaded to the computer.  Think she’ll pop for it for me?
3. GPS devices give you REAL TIME TRAFFIC updates.  And they’re easy to put in your car.  If you live in Chicago, this is a no brainer.
4. Contrary to popular belief, laptops can be purchased for less than $1000.  And they aren’t made of plastic.  They’re like from a reputable brand. If you’re going to get one of these machines, though, Beth says you should have 2MB of RAM and a 120GB drive.  (I sound so tech-savvy! I’m quitting my day job!)
5. Now, this one is serious.  We all should back up our hard drives to avoid major catastrophes like your computer going to a “blue screen” while your keyboard begins to smoke. (No, this didn’t happen to me, but it sounded good, no?) You can buy a back up drive or go online and back up your system.  Please ’scuse me while I get up off of my lazy ass to go make sure the 71,000 photos I have of junior don’t just disappear now into thin air.

After all of this copious note taking we all then moved on to the display table.  Being the least tech savvy of the bunch, I went straight for the Crayola squeezable paint brushes and had my way with the fair princess.

At least I didn’t splatter the paint all over the new laptop, right?

Going back to my day job now.

Tags: techmamas, tech advice, gadget advice for moms, tech savvy moms,

I’ve blogged and commented a lot recently on the slew of material out there that discusses women getting back on the career track after taking time off to stay at home with their children. Usually these voices are on high, and well, as a mere blogger, I’m down low, and so rarely would we have a chance to connect.

But lately, perhaps because I’ve been so vocal about my passion for finding case studies of women “on-ramping” outside of big financial and accounting firms, I’ve gotten a few e-mails from some of these “mommy career” gurus themselves, the most recent containing some good nuggets of information worth sharing.

Carol Fishman Cohen, co-author of the book, Back on the Career Track, responded to my dilemma of how it seems the biggest success stories of women re-entering the workforce are those in the careers of finance or accounting.  In Carol’s (hope it’s ok to use first names here) e-mail to me she points out the success that Aquent, the world’s largest marketing staffing firm, is having by placing SAHMs into jobs after they’ve been out for awhile.  She even gave this example:

I’m [Carol] in the Boston area and have been following the progress of a mom here who was a marketing analyst for a high tech firm, was part of a 9/11 layoff, started her family and took a break for 5.5 years, and just got placed thru Aquent in a 3 month marketing position at a major money management firm here. (She does not have a graduate degree.) She thinks it is working out pretty well and will turn into a permanent position. 

Thanks, Carol, duly noted. I guess there’s some hope for us sad sacks still eeking out a career in PR or marketing. 

Tags: SAHM, Carol Fishman Cohen, Back On The Career Track, on ramping off ramping

There is a movement taking over motherhood. It has nothing to do with staying at home or working, and everything to do with looking hot and loving it. Ultra-feminist at best, tacky at worst, the MILF movement is sweeping the nation. From coast-to-coast, online and off, mothers are trying their best at a chance to best to be sexy.

Two New York Magazine writers commented on this trend in a recent article. They question the movement and it’s timing “…why the hot mom and why now?”  I agree with their rationale that is has something to do with women having babies later in life and the need to rebel against traditional mommy stereotypes. I think we can all agree that there’s nothing sexy about June Cleaver.

Or me. I am not MILF-y.

I may be at my pre-baby weight, and I may not look a day over 28 (I’m hanging on to my twenties, here, people.) But I’m nowhere near the hotness of Stifler’s mom or Kathleen Clearly of “The Wedding Crashers.” I could never utter the words “kitty cat” with a straight face.  My chest is flatter than it was before I had my son and I only wear sweats to bed.  I’m about as hot as Dora the Explorer.  Thinking that I need to do something about my lack-o-sexiness, I decided to poke around town to see how I could improve my va-va-voom.  The results?  There’s lots you can do if you want to be a MILF in the Windy City.

• MILFs must have very toned abs.  I need to spice up my workouts a bit, so I might listen to the pro Chicago trainer Jim Karas and try his “cardio free” diet.  Or, I may just sit on my couch and watch the season finale of “The Bachelor.”  Both, I assure you, will be equally stimulating for my heart.
• I don’t have very many MILF-y accessories, and I like to shop, so I may stroll to The Pleasure Chest in Lakeview.  It caused waves when it moved to my ‘hood, but getting sexy without having to drive somewhere sounds very pleasurable to me.
• MILFs and strip teases go together like Barney and purple.  So if I want to get sexy, I’d better learn how to move my booty.  My friend tipped me off to Arabesque, also known as home of the burlesque dancer on “America’s Got Talent.” (You know you watched it too.)  What size pasties do you think I’d wear?
• Finally, every good MILF needs a pouty lip.  I’m all for the au natural look, and thanks to Annie at Time Out Chicago, I can get it with this incredible sounding new lip gloss.  Plus, it’s called Oxymoron, which is what me trying to be a MILF really is.

Tags: Arabesque, Cardio Free Diet,, MILF,, Pleasure Chest,, Time Out Chicago

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Cross-posted at Chicago Moms Blog. We’ve got some great stuff over there so now go on, get!

Unlike Passover, for me this year, Mother’s Day really was like every other day.  I’m so busy recently, it seems like I don’t have time for things to be “different” just for the sake of a Hallmark holiday.  No matter that I love to celebrate the fact that I gave birth to a large baby or choose my own gifts.  Today was jam-packed with little time to bask in the glow of, well, me.  A round-up of my Mother’s Day activities:

• Made sure my kid got over the stomach flu.  He’s feeling much better now, thanks.
• Washed the kid’s clothes that got messed up by the stomach flu. 
• Got the diaper bag I wanted from my hubby.  Yes! I love it.
• Had prerequisite Mother’s Day brunch at fancy hotel with extended family and brother’s girlfriend’s family.  It was like Meet the Parents but we were a little more dressed up.  At least my mom had a good time.
• Attended my brother’s law school graduation ceremony.  Oh, I didn’t mention that Northwestern decided to have a graduation ceremony on Mother’s Day? Ah, yes. But I got a corsage. Sweet.

Just like prom day. Like my bag?

• Took the kid out to dinner now that he’s feeling better.  Watching a 13-month old try to eat rice with his hands is funny.  Trust me, I tried the spoon.
• Put away the kid’s clothes that got messed up by the stomach flu. 
• Sat on the couch to watch Red Wings hockey.  Go Wings!
• Plan on going to bed early. I’ll watch “The Sopranos” on Wednesday night repeat night.

See, overall it was a pretty normal day with a fancy brunch, a new diaper bag and a graduation ceremony thrown in (ok, it wasn’t that normal).  But as I type this post now, I realize it doesn’t really matter if today really wasn’t all that different from all other days.  I’m a mom now, what do I expect? As long as I’m with my family and my son is healthy, I’m happy.  Mah Nishtana.  Hope you all had a great Mother’s Day too.

Technorati Tags: Mother’s Day, mom rants, Storksak, Northwestern