Self-Made Mom

Dear Emily bag,

It’s been a long year since I first received you as a present for Mother’s Day.  I coveted you, as I saw you on many a friend and celebrity’s arm.  When I used you I was giddy. You looked like a purse, yet you were waterproof, well-insulated and had many a pocket that I happily filled.

It was unfortunate when things started to go wrong early on in our relationship.  I don’t know why, but all of a sudden your strap started to rip and fray. I tried to mend and glue you back together, but it didn’t work.  So I had to take you back.  I waited a month for your replacement, ready to start anew.  However, your cousin of same size, shape and color treated me the same.  Her strap broke and her inside pocket leaked. Disappointed, I perservered. For $150, I figured I could make our relationship last. I stuck by you through wet wallets and soggy diapers.

But two months ago, things got worse and I returned you once more.  The storekeeper at my favorite store gave me crazy eyes for bringing you in again, but she couldn’t dismiss my arguments of shoddy craftsmanship.  By a stroke of luck, and maniacal comparison tests, there was yet another new version of you available for me at the store to take home.  You had been revamped.  Different stitching on the strap! Better buckles and latches! The storekeeper and I hugged and parted ways. I hoped not to have to traipse through her glass doors again.

Now, though, I have to reject you once and for all.  Your third cousin, once-removed, in pewter is now in tatters. Your strap, like your relatives’ is ripping, and your beautiful, once shiny and pristine body is now covered with flaky scars. 

Some things don’t look good “broken in.”

I saw this happen to my friends’ pewter Emily bags, but I never thought that it would afflict me as well.  But it has, and now it is the final straw. I must reject you, Storksak Emily bag, for good.  As much as it pains my fashion-savvy self, I must turn to other brands. Perhaps they can help me find a new bag in time for Mother’s Day because Emily, we’re through.

Sincerely,

Self-Made Mom

Things aren’t going terribly well in the Great Nanny Hunt of 2007.  Let me put it this way: quantity doesn’t mean quality.  Meaning, my husband and I only requested one callback out of six candidates to meet our son.  Could it have been that one had absolutely NO experience as a nanny?  Or was it the comment one of the potential nannies made about the “mean Jewish family” she used to work for? Hello, did she not SEE the bend in my nose, brown eyes and frizzy hair? (In her defense, it IS rather humid in Chicago this week.) Whatever it was, yesterday put me over the edge. 

So I did what any insane working mom with-no-nanny would do. I went on shopping bender. It’s the perfect antidote to the blogging and nanny-searching bender.  Especially when the purchases arrive the next day like these:

I bet you’re wondering what came in such a HUGE box. Or why I have two.

Or when they are really expensive, even though you could get a great knock-off at the Gap, like these:

There’s no way I’m linking to the brand name or price of these khakis.

Or when they are really pointless, but totally cute, like these:

Neither rain nor gloom of night nor whatever stays this mommy from the swift completion of her nanny hunt.

Ahhh… I feel so much better now.  And really, aren’t I, in essence, saving money this week because I’m not paying for a nanny? If you care, that’s how I am going to rationalize all of this to my husband when he finds out what I did.

Susan Wagner, author of one of my new favorite blogs, “The Working Closet,” gave out some rules today on appropriate work attire.  I agree with most of the “rules” on her list.  Except for one.  The one about wearing flip flops to work.  Wagner says:

I love flip flops, particularly for summer, but they are not appropriate for the office. Nicer flip flops–made of leather, say, or even those pretty ones with the ribbon straps–are fine for weekends or evenings, but never for work. And those rubbery ones from Target should not EVER be worn outside the house. EVER.

Immediately after reading this I looked down beneath my desk. 

The offending foot.

Yes, I’m wearing flip flops to work today. Of the leather kind. Of the Jack Rogers kind.  My immediate reaction was to get defensive of my decision. It’s hot out, and my feet were sweating in my first shoe choice, the Tory Burch flat.  I chose breathability vs. smelly feet.  I think the silver sheen of the leather makes these particular flip flops kind of dressy.  Plus, they look great with the seersucker pants I’m wearing. It’s not like I’m clacking around in my new favorite Chaco flip flops.  (Trust me, I’ve tried to make an appropriate work outfit with these to no avail.)

Just say no to Chaco.

But backing down off of my defensive position, I realized that flip flops in the workplace are a necessity for some working moms or soon-to-be-moms.  They’re comfortable, they come in all shapes and materials now, and well, if you’re very, very pregnant, sometimes they’re the only shoe that will fit a swollen foot.  Plus, it gives you the chance to flaunt the $35+ you just spent on a pedicure to someone other than your child.  Ban the “rubbery” ones, I will, but nothing will ever come between me and Jack at the office.

Tags: flip flops, working mom fashion, Work It, Mom!, office fashion, summer fashion

In this month’s In Style magazine (I know, heavy reading), costume designer Debra McGuire makes an interesting comment about Katherine Heigl’s pre-to-pregnancy wardrobe in the upcoming movie Knocked Up:

Like all women who raise children, she [Heigl] experiences many fashion phases.

I sort of wish she had expanded on this term, “fashion phases,” but since she didn’t, I thought I’d take the liberty of recalling the typical wardrobe changes I went through as I became a new mom.  Feel free to add your “phase” as needed.

Phase 1: Show-and-don’t-tell
Many of us like to wait awhile before we announce our little secret, but sometimes mother nature likes to play tricks and discloses pregnancy before we’re ready.  Sometimes you ”show” when you’re not ready to tell.  Thank goodness long shirts are in nowadays. They’re really good for covering up the waistband that you can’t quite cinch anymore. 

Phase 2: Bump-a-licious
At about month four of pregnancy, you take a look in the mirror at your rounding belly and think, “boy, I look cute.” Then if you’re anything like me, you head out to the nearest maternity botique where the salespeople “ooh and ahh” at your bump and coerce you into spending way too much for that silly top with a string that ties around your back (seriously, what pregnant woman can actually tie this herself?) and really will only fit you for four more weeks. No, I don’t plan ahead when it comes to clothes.

Phase 3: Feeling-not-so-hot
There is a time long into your pregnancy when you realize you aren’t going to stay Bump-a-licious forever, and really you’re just lookin’ large.  Now’s the time to whip out the size XL long sleeve top you found on the back rack of the Gap maternity store on sale for $9.99 because, well, you really don’t care what you wear to work anymore, as long as its comfortable.  And you’re lying if you haven’t worn flip flops or Ugg boots to the office at this stage of the game.

Phase 4: Hide-the-pooch
After your baby is born you think you look really good. And thin.  You even think you can wear normal clothes again.  Until you realize that really, you’re just playing a game of “Hide-the-pooch.”  It’s sort of like “Show-and-don’t-tell” but this time your belly’s not that cute.  Unfortunately, this means you’ll have to whip out those flowy tops from the early stages of pregnancy again to hide the poochy belly.  Because we all know the worse thing someone can ask you after you’ve had your baby is if you’re pregnant.  And it’s happened to all of us.

Phase 5: Back-to-work
Going back to work after baby takes lots of planning and thought - about your clothes, of course. I spent many weeks debating and deciding child care what I was going to wear the first time I saw my coworkers after 4 months off. (Yes, I was lucky, I had extra time to find a good outfit.)  All I can say about this phase is go find something you like and looks good for you. You never had a better excuse to go buy new clothes.

Phase 6: The real you
Sometime after the “9 months down” scenario plays out in all its evil, you realize that even if you’re thin again, your body just doesn’t look the same as it did pre-baby.  I personally have lots of extra skin around the middle and wider hips.  So I had to “readjust” my wardrobe. I seem to reuse those long flowy tops still, but have a little more confidence to put on a good old pair of skinny pants once in awhile.  For about an hour before I change back into my trusty sweats. Old habits die hard.

Technorati Tags: mom fashion, office fashion, pregnancy, pregnancy fashion, fashion, mom rants, Knocked Up, In Style

Mother’s Day is less than two weeks away, and if you’re like me - a little bit bossy and love getting gifts - you’re all over the internet searching for the perfect gift for yourself.  I soak up the glory of Mother’s Day.  The day created to celebrate the fact that I suffered through the aches and pains of pregnancy and labor to produce just about the cutest thing that ever was (according to my MIL.) I’ve only had one Mother’s Day so far, but I already know I like to celebrate the holiday my way- no surprises. It’s the one holiday that I can control what I want to do and of course, what I want to receive.  Save the surprises for my birthday or Hannukah or something.  On Mother’s Day I live by the motto: “Requests are best.”  To make it easier for you to request the perfect gift, I’ve created a list of Mother’s Day gift ideas. All you have to do now is send the link to your husband and poke and nag him about it later tonight. Or maybe it’s just me that will do that.

Mother’s Day the Gadget Way: 
If you’re a gadget guru, here are some gift ideas for you (Techmamas inspired me, what can I say?):

• A bluetooth headset - a safe mama is a happy mama so get a headset for when you drive, or push your stroller around town, or if you just want to look really cool and important on a play date. I’m partial to the Motorola H700 because it comes in pink.
• A new digital camera - cameras are faster and smaller now than ever, and that’s why you need a new one. The Canon Exilim EX-S600 is small, and fast. And it has a special setting for “kids” so you won’t miss junior shoving birthday cake in his mouth.
• Video baby monitors - the perfect gift for a Type-A mom. Want to see what junior is up to in bed? View him on your fancy video monitor. I’m partial to the Summer brand because it’s portable so I can take it with me. Everywhere.
• A new watch - if your kid’s anything like mine, he eats everything you own. So don’t worry about him wrecking your jewelry and ask for a Casio Baby G watch. It won’t break and it has like 52 settings and alarms and time zones and makes jingles that will send your little one into a laughing fit. Plus it comes in pink so it can match your headset.

Mother’s Day the Cool Mom Way:
I may be controlling, but I never said I was “cool.” If you want to be a hip mama, request a gift from the Cool Mom Picks Mother’s Day Gift Guide. They’ve got great gift ideas over there for all kinds of mamas that support many mom-run businesses.  So go on, shoo. Remember, I’m not that cool, but they are.

Mother’s Day the Self-Made Mom Way:
I’ve got one Mother’s Day under my belt so I don’t have a lot of personal experience, but here’s what I requested and received last year:

• Helen Ficalora Alpha Charm Necklace - I’m a huge fan of these uber-light and fun necklaces. I ordered one with the initial of my son on it, so he’s close to me whether I’m with him or not. They also have really cute mom charms and sayings, so if you’re not feeling it for junior, you can feel it for yourself. That’s what this day’s all about, right?

And here’s what I’m getting this year. My $5 Target diaper bag has had it’s day. Do you like?

The Storksak Emily Diaper Bag

P.S. If you like to give rather than receive, then go over to Work It, Mom! and submit a tribute to a working mom that you admire. I was feeling a bit giving myself after writing this post so I published a tribute to one of my working mom BFFs.  Best part? Work It, Mom is partnering with MomsRising.org in this endeavour and they’re going to be making a donation in honor of all the Tributes they receive. The more Tributes they get, the more that gets donated. Sometimes even I give a little

Tags: mothers day, mothers day gift ideas, Cool Mom Picks, Techmamas, Storksak, Helen Ficalora, Summer Video Monitors, Work It, Mom!

I haven’t done a post about fashion in awhile, and it fits this week’s theme of no complaining, so here goes.  I flew out of the Nor’easter yesterday to the sunny Midwest where the temperature is hovering around 50 degrees and the sun is partially out.  Yes folks, spring has arrived in Chicago.  And with spring, comes spring shoes.  Some of you will be wearing wedgies, some of you will still stick it out in heels (I don’t know how!), but I will be wearing flats.  I love flats!  Flats are a mommy’s best friend that will take you from the office to the playground nary a blister in sight.  Herewith, my favorite flats of the season.  Enjoy.

My big indulgence this spring were these Tory Burch Reva ballerina flats.  I know they’re uber-trendy, but they are super comfy and look great with a skirt or jeans. I’ve already worn them 3 times - all 3 days it was over 40 degrees in Chicago so far this year.  Plus they come in all different colors for your wearing pleasure.

I also love these peep-toe flats by Mossimo for Target.  The mix of patent and regular leather belies the cheap $19.99 price tag.  It also means that I could buy them in navy and not feel so bad if that color only stays in style one season.

Next on my to-buy list are another pair of peep-toe flats, this time by Franco Sarto.  They’re a great knock-off of a Stuart Weitzman version.  But your wallet will thank you for going Franco.

the “Franco”

the “Stuart”

Can YOU tell the difference?

Last on my must-have list for flats this spring are these adorable all-weather flats.  Normally, I wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of Crocs, but thanks to a tip from my friend Tamara, I couldn’t resist the ballerina version of the normally clunky shoe.  I chose lavender, but am kind of liking the celery (to the right).  Unfortunately you can’t really wear these in the office (well, in my office), but as Tamara says, “they’re a great commuter shoe.”  Or a shoe you won’t care if your kid pees or pukes on.

[Update: the crocs didn’t fit me! Size 9 was too small, size 10 too big. Maybe they’ll make them in half sizes one day. Or my feet will shrink with my next pregnancy.]

So there you have it.  My ode to flats this spring.  I do hope you look into getting a pair (or two, or three) for yourself.  Make your feet happy.

Tags: Crocs, Stuart Weitzman, Franco Sarto, Mossimo, Target, flats, ballerina flats, spring fashion, spring shoes

Flying with children in the middle of winter between some of the nation’s busiest airports is always a crapshoot.  That’s why I wasn’t so surprised when they cancelled my flight today from LaGuardia to O’Hare (the cause? “weather” somewhere in Pennsylvania is my guess, damn you Nittany Lions.)  So, I’m stuck in New York City for another day at my friend’s apartment in Manhattan.  The downside?  I don’t get to see my husband tonight and I have to figure out how I’m going to make up work tomorrow.  The upside?  I scored a great pair of suede winter boots on mega sale (sort of like the ones on the left, but in black) and I get to watch the Oscars with someone who actually wants to watch it.  Things could be worse.  A lot worse.

That’s why I was surprised when my friend texted me that I was a “brave mama” for traveling to New York City alone with my 11-month old.   Is traveling with children that brave?  Am I a hero and just don’t know it yet?  Let’s see…

• I managed to get my son, his stroller, 2 carry-ons and myself through security without a whimper uttered.  The key - do not put baby shoes on your child.  TSA will make you take them off.  I’m not joking. 
• I fed him a well-balance breakfast of pears and a banana while waiting to board.  I’ve found stroller-feeding to be just as effective and actually less messy than highchair feeding.  Think my Bugaboo will look bad in my kitchen?
• I timed the plane ride to coincide with nap time, so we both could snooze mid-air.  Hey, a 30-minute cat nap is better than no nap in my book.  If only the stewardess would have lowered her voice just a notch when she told us we could use our portable electronic devices.  Just a notch.
• I called a car service to help me with my luggage and so I could actually attach his car seat to something resembling a seat belt (my friends don’t drive in Manhattan and I don’t do cabs with babies.)  Unfortunately, I ruined my nails trying to attach the seat to the LATCH system.  Why is it so hard to find in between the seat cushions??
  
• Meester Liger makes it easy for my son to sleep anywhere.  He’s pretty much good to go anywhere as long as he can suck on the corner of the blanket.  Good thing I brought 6 of them.  Again, not joking.
• It took 4 tries, but I finally found the right kind of formula at Gristedes.  Do people on the Upper West Side not believe in bottle feeding?  Not only was Gristedes the only place that sold this brand of formula, but I paid $16 for a 12 oz. jar.  So I had to forgo the cute pair of leggings I saw at Urban Outfitters.  Ah, the sacrifices us mothers make.
• My friend found a baby sitter at the last minute so we could attend my friend’s birthday party.  And I even remembered to tell the babysitter my son’s name just as we were walking out the door! (He was asleep already, OK!?)
• And, last but not least, I mastered the art of drinking my nonfat-extra-hot-no-water-chai-latte while pushing my son’s stroller and holding the bag with the boots that I bought.  I may have looked like a total ass walking down 88th St., but damn I love my chai.  Oh and if you’re wondering, chivalry is completely dead at the Starbucks on 86th and Columbus.  Hey, lady working on your computer - thank you for watching me as I rammed my son’s foot into the door trying to get out.  That was so nice of you.

So am I that brave?  I can’t answer that.  Gotta go get my screaming son.  Nap time didn’t go exactly as I had planned this afternoon.  But don’t all heros have flaws?

Tags: traveling with children

I learned today that Cookie magazine hired The Sartorialist to document fashionable toddlers.  The Sartorialist, as I’ve found out, is a popular fashion blogger from New York who ”documents every day adult style-setters from New York to Milan.”  His page for Cookie, The Sartorialist Jr., will capture “junior style innovators” so we can see how the hippest kids dress.  This sounds like good timing to me.  You see, as part of my new getting ready in the morning routine for work, I let my son indulge in a few minutes (or more) of TV watching.  Kill me, I need to shower.  Our show of choice is usually Barney & Friends.  What can I say?  My son has gone the way of the purple dinosaur from hell.  But the content of the show seems educational, the songs are cute enough and the kids have talent.  It’s all midly tolerable except for one thing: the fashion.  It’s like watching a kiddie version of Glamour Do’s and Don’ts list. 

Somewhere between “I love you, you love me,” I think the children’s stylists went color blind.  Or maybe it’s that their hair shears went the way of Britney (crazy.)  I don’t know.  But what I’m pretty sure of is that The Sartorialist doesn’t visit these parts.  And as a mildy-fashionable mom trying to find fashion icons for my son in the wee hours of the morning, this task is looking daunting.  Maybe it’s my fault that I let him watch Barney, but I see that smile and I can’t resist.  So I’m left with a few questions.  Why is there such a disconnect between Barney and Cookie?  How is it that this venerable show can be THAT removed from fashion reality?  Television stylists of the world: aren’t there entry-level stylist jobs available on Barney? (I’m not saying we need Rachel Zoe.)  Are the perks not good enough?  C’mon, even Bert can make neon look cool (although he could really use an eyebrow wax.)

“Grandma, thanks for resizing your mumu for me.”

I’m not saying that these kids should look like Bratz dolls.  But they also shouldn’t look like they are channeling The Brady Bunch (When I showed these photos to my husband he assumed they were from 1992.  Oh, how wrong he was.  2005 to be exact.)  Maybe the kids picked out their own clothes, which is fine, but then I think we need a disclaimer saying so.

“But mom, you said leggings were in.”

If you’ve read this far, you probably think (a) I have more money than Gwenyth to dress my child, (b) I’m incredibly shallow, or (c) I need a hobby. While (b) is true at times (I like to shop, what can I say), I don’t have time for (c), sorry.  But I am definitely not Gwenyth.  I am just a mom who wants to understand why stylists still think it’s ok to cut a boy’s hair like a female figure skater from the 1970s. 

“Junior, meet Dorothy Hamill, hair icon.”

I don’t think kiddie fashion needs to be expensive (I typically get my son’s gear at Target, Old Navy on sale or local boutiques when they have their clearances), but shouldn’t it be current?  Is it too much to ask that a child’s pants don’t look like 1960s wallpaper threw up on them?

“I don’t know why somebody made me wear this.”

My point is, I guess, if I have to watch this stuff because my son likes it, I’d like to get at least a few fashion tips in the process.  The good news is that I can always just close my eyes and listen to the music.  But that’s so not as educational.

Tags: Barney & Friends, The Sartorialist, Cookie magazine, The Sartorialist Jr., kid fashion, Dorothy Hamill

It’s barely 30 degrees in Chicago, my really cute, new, faux-leather Rafe purse from Target (to the right- also makes for a great baby bag) froze on the way to work, and what did I hear? The fashion world is talking spring. This means I need to evaluate what I’m going to purchase in the coming months with the little excess income I have. AND I have to make the trends work for home and for the office. 

I did a little reading about what I should buy.  Here’s why I’m not listening:

A clear handbag: there are some things that should just stay hidden. Like the diaper you accidentally forgot to take out of your purse when you went to work.

Neon: being fashionable does not mean matching the walls of your son’s gym class.

An animal print top: I don’t want to look like Meester Liger (my son’s blankie to the right). More on Meester Liger soon.

Mini dresses: this is laughable just won’t work with “mommy” hips.

Instead, I think I will invest in the following:

A white handbag: because white is almost clear and I can keep hiding my things from you. Na na na poo poo!

Eyelet flats: comfy and chic for the office or a play date.

A flow-y shirt: will hide the muffin top fabulously. (Please excuse the gorgeous model.)

Happy shopping!

 Tags: fashion tips, mom fashion, spring fashion trends

Our company’s annual holiday party is tonight.  It’s my third party, but first as a mom, so I think the rules are a little bit different for me.  Some dos and don’ts for moms at work holiday parties:

Do feel free to dance to the music; it’s a good chance to show your coworkers that you’re still alive.
Don’t get caught karaoke-ing “Like a Virgin” - you never know who’s got a cell phone camera out there and where your children may find those photos online (this is NOT a personal experience).

Do get dolled up for work that day; spend the 15 extra minutes to wash and dry your hair!
Don’t wear anything remotely similar to the photo to the left (Thank you, Tamara and Jeffrey).

Do gorge yourself on all the party apps. I’m quite sure they’re better than any dinner you were going to have at home.
Don’t stuff the dinner rolls in your purse for lunch tomorrow.  That’s not being a resourceful mom, it’s just tacky.

Do have a drink, or two (or three), if you please. You did get the night off for a reason.
Don’t overdo it. Your husband will NOT be sympathetic tomorrow and get up with the kids when you don’t feel well.

Enjoy the holiday party season!

Technorati Tags: holiday parties, working mom, mom fashion, office fashion