Self-Made Mom

I hate being naked.  I’m a very modest person, so I rarely let my bare-self show. (Unless I’m in the dressing room at Loehmann’s and I’m scoring a great deal.)  Same way with my nails.  I hate having bare nails.

I take that back. I LOATHE having bare nails.  I’m a staunch advocate of the polished nail.  Mademoiselle is my middle name, dontcha know?

So for the last few many years, I’ve indulged myself with weekly manicures.  I remember looking forward to Friday, my self-proclaimed manicure day, where I could sit at the nail salon, gossip with the nail tech and read trashy magazines.  The US Weekly mag I read always had the most oil stains on it, but I didn’t care.  I was content perusing the “Just Like Us” section in a vibrating spa chair, even if Jennifer Garner was smudged out.

And my nails used to get compliments.  Who knew I have “long nail beds”?  Or nice white tips?  I took pleasure in knowing that a little bit of dough got me a long way with that cashier at Starbucks or a colleague in a meeting where I was taking notes.  I could be Wicked without anyone knowing just how innocent I really was.  That’s the beauty of a nice manicure.  It provides a good cover. My nails would shine even when I didn’t.  And people notice.

Then I had a child.  I know it sounds so cliche, but I think those folks are right. Having a baby changes everything.  I swore up and down that when I had my son I would let nothing get in the way of my nail upkeep. But something’s happened over the past few months.  I’m going naked.  It’s impossible to stay properly clothed as the mother of a 16-month-old.

At one point, I pretended that I could keep up my polished exterior.  When my son was a bit younger, I tried haplessly to wear trendy dark colors.  This resulted in numerous expletives flowing from my mouth every time I saw a chip.  There’s one thing I hate more than bare nails.  Feeling like you’ve thrown $15 down the drain because you’ve smudged your nail giving your son a bath.

I’ve found that going around bare does have its benefits. You can wash the dishes without gloves on, garden freely, and pull apart sippy cup parts like a bat out of hell.  You can open up toys without pretending to your child that those twisty tie thingy-s are really a part of the toy.  (I mean, those twisty tie thingy-s are KILLER on a fresh manicure.) You can type on your keyboard recklessly. You can open up cans and bottles. You can pry open the seal of that fresh tube of Aquaphor.  It’s quite liberating, really.

Then again, there are disadvantages to a non-manicured nail.  There’s the hanging cuticle problem, which typically requires the unsanitary, but necessary extracting of, which draws blood in the office, which results in you running screaming to your group assistant to find you some freaking Band-Aids (!!) so you don’t have to try to type on your keyboard with paper towel over your finger.

Needing to get nailed.

Also, unmanicured nails give off this terrible impression that you actually care about housework. I think there’s a direct correlation between how dirty your house is with how bad your nails look. Meaning, if you care about keeping your nails polished, you’ll let the dust build up a little.  I hate dusting too.

The good news is that for the next week, I’ll be away from reality, “working from home” (more on that later) with no business people to see and no in-person meetings to be had.  I can let myself go for a little.  But believe you me, as soon as I get back I’ll be calling up the nail salon.  I can only walk around naked for so long.

I’ve often complained to my coworkers about the dim lighting in our communal bathroom at the office.  The flourescent bulbs seem to be from an era past, casting my beautiful spring whites in nasty shades of yellow.  My skin, which is already sallow to begin with, seemed ever more orange in the atmosphere of the bathroom.  Which is why I was shocked to walk into work this morning and find that these tawny bulbs have been replaced with brighter alternatives.

Unfortunately, this means now I can see how bad I look by the end of the day.

I’ve ranted before about how difficult it is to get ready in the morning for work when you have a baby to contend with.  But now, I fear, my new foe is the brilliant bulb giving off its ray of fake sunshine in the loo.  It’s bringing out the very worst in my appearance.

See, 8 months into this working mom thing, I’ve got my morning routine down pat. As long as I can distract my son with an episode of Noddy or whatever is on at the early hour I get ready, I can apply my foundation semi-evenly and smear concealer onto my chin, where it seems I am reliving my adolescent youth.  A stroke of blush, some mascara, (permanent eyeliner if I am lucky), finishing powder and I am typically good to go. Fixing up my face is the last step of my morning routine and when I am finished, I usually do not take another look in the mirror.  There’s no time for hiding that one last freckle or wrinkle. I’ve got to get to work.

And when I’m at work, I’m usually too busy or too lazy to check on my appearance.

But by the time 3 p.m rolls around and I leisurely stroll to the bathroom to stretch my legs I am horrified at what I see.  My mascara is smudged, the pubescent acne spot (ok, zit!) is erupting and I have a sheen about me that reminds me why I never opted for the “dewy” look in the ’90s.  Yes, I could bring my powder compact to work. Yes, I could reapply concealer at the end of the day. But somehow, I always forget to do this.

At least there’s a bright side.  My son.  Thankfully, he doesn’t care how shiny, or matte or smudged I look at the end of day.  As long as I’m home in time to put him to bed, he glows like the brightest bulb there ever was.  And that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

Tags: working mom, office rants, getting ready for work

Mother’s Day is less than two weeks away, and if you’re like me - a little bit bossy and love getting gifts - you’re all over the internet searching for the perfect gift for yourself.  I soak up the glory of Mother’s Day.  The day created to celebrate the fact that I suffered through the aches and pains of pregnancy and labor to produce just about the cutest thing that ever was (according to my MIL.) I’ve only had one Mother’s Day so far, but I already know I like to celebrate the holiday my way- no surprises. It’s the one holiday that I can control what I want to do and of course, what I want to receive.  Save the surprises for my birthday or Hannukah or something.  On Mother’s Day I live by the motto: “Requests are best.”  To make it easier for you to request the perfect gift, I’ve created a list of Mother’s Day gift ideas. All you have to do now is send the link to your husband and poke and nag him about it later tonight. Or maybe it’s just me that will do that.

Mother’s Day the Gadget Way: 
If you’re a gadget guru, here are some gift ideas for you (Techmamas inspired me, what can I say?):

• A bluetooth headset - a safe mama is a happy mama so get a headset for when you drive, or push your stroller around town, or if you just want to look really cool and important on a play date. I’m partial to the Motorola H700 because it comes in pink.
• A new digital camera - cameras are faster and smaller now than ever, and that’s why you need a new one. The Canon Exilim EX-S600 is small, and fast. And it has a special setting for “kids” so you won’t miss junior shoving birthday cake in his mouth.
• Video baby monitors - the perfect gift for a Type-A mom. Want to see what junior is up to in bed? View him on your fancy video monitor. I’m partial to the Summer brand because it’s portable so I can take it with me. Everywhere.
• A new watch - if your kid’s anything like mine, he eats everything you own. So don’t worry about him wrecking your jewelry and ask for a Casio Baby G watch. It won’t break and it has like 52 settings and alarms and time zones and makes jingles that will send your little one into a laughing fit. Plus it comes in pink so it can match your headset.

Mother’s Day the Cool Mom Way:
I may be controlling, but I never said I was “cool.” If you want to be a hip mama, request a gift from the Cool Mom Picks Mother’s Day Gift Guide. They’ve got great gift ideas over there for all kinds of mamas that support many mom-run businesses.  So go on, shoo. Remember, I’m not that cool, but they are.

Mother’s Day the Self-Made Mom Way:
I’ve got one Mother’s Day under my belt so I don’t have a lot of personal experience, but here’s what I requested and received last year:

• Helen Ficalora Alpha Charm Necklace - I’m a huge fan of these uber-light and fun necklaces. I ordered one with the initial of my son on it, so he’s close to me whether I’m with him or not. They also have really cute mom charms and sayings, so if you’re not feeling it for junior, you can feel it for yourself. That’s what this day’s all about, right?

And here’s what I’m getting this year. My $5 Target diaper bag has had it’s day. Do you like?

The Storksak Emily Diaper Bag

P.S. If you like to give rather than receive, then go over to Work It, Mom! and submit a tribute to a working mom that you admire. I was feeling a bit giving myself after writing this post so I published a tribute to one of my working mom BFFs.  Best part? Work It, Mom is partnering with MomsRising.org in this endeavour and they’re going to be making a donation in honor of all the Tributes they receive. The more Tributes they get, the more that gets donated. Sometimes even I give a little

Tags: mothers day, mothers day gift ideas, Cool Mom Picks, Techmamas, Storksak, Helen Ficalora, Summer Video Monitors, Work It, Mom!

So my mom has been in town staying with us since last Friday because with all the traveling I’ve been doing, we needed a little help around the house with junior.  When she visits (which is always welcomed, but is not infrequent), the conversation typically begins with, “oh, junior got so big!” and then inevitably turns to, “I’ve just started this new [fill in the blank] diet, can’t you tell?”

I usually can’t tell the difference - my mom always looks the same to me - and that’s a good thing.  But as a new mom, I can say without a doubt, the topic of losing weight post-baby is always top of mind.  Now, I must admit, I got lucky in the genetic lottery.  I gained a whopping 45 pounds during my pregnancy and have shed nearly all of it.  But it was not without hard work.  The hard work of taking care of my baby.

At first, my mom was a non-believer of my lose-weight strategy.  “You eat too much sugar.  You eat too many carbs. You need to eat breakfast every morning.” (Actually, the truth is she suggests you eat the same breakfast every morning of egg whites on oatmeal with soy milk.  Yuck, I’d rather down 6 oz. of formula.)

The reality is, from what I’ve found, having a baby and eating are mutually exclusive. There is no time to actually do both. Or do both well. 

A typical day of meals for me when I’m home on my days off  (this doesn’t count when I go to work, because I do eat there) is this:

• Breakfast:
• Dragging junior to Starbucks for a Chai Tea Latte breakfast of champions
• Eating the Cheerios off the floor that junior discards while playing with Baby Tad
• Lunch:
• Leftover mac and cheese from our lunch date
• Remnants of Veggie Booty, Veggie Sausage, Veggie Corn Dog, Veggie anything
• Dinner: (here’s where I spoil myself)
• A whole mini pizza
• A bowl of cereal because I’m too tired to deal with dinner
• Haribo gummi bears (where I get my fruit for the day)

This leaves my mother in a state of constant “I must cook for you guys” anguish (it doesn’t help that she’s also Jewish, which means of course that she’s neurotic.)  When she comes to stay with us, she’s constantly cooking and finds time to have 3 square meals a day.  And she’s always horrified about what we eat (what’s wrong with “toasted cheese”?) Thing is, we’re usually around when she’s here to pitch in with child care; she has the time to cook AND eat.  So when I left her alone for 3 days this past week, I put her to the test.  I tested her to actually find time to eat - or better yet - cook meals.  Here’s how it went, according to my mom:

• Breakfast:
• Oatmeal and egg white breakfast - “I ate it at noon.  But by then, it was lunch so I scarfed down baby graham crackers with peanut butter to fill the void.”
• Lunch:
• See breakfast
• Snack:
• “I have to have my snack!” (Yes, snack time deserves an exclamation point!!) “I tried to put junior in the Exersaucer with a biscuit so I could dig into an apple, but he managed to smear the biscuit on the Exersaucer and the floor, rendering it inedible and I was worried the house would be too messy when you came home, so I cleaned up instead of eating.” (Yes, I run a tight ship here.)
• Dinner:
• “It was nice out so I managed to walk to Whole Foods.  I ate dinner, finally.”  But I challenge her - “Mom, it was food prepared by someone else, so, does it count?”

My point of all this?  It’s hard to eat while chasing after a baby.  And guess how many pounds she’s lost since Friday? Enough to make a difference. Weight Watchers, watch out. 

 Tags: diet, losing weight after baby, mom diet tips

First my nail chipped.  You heard it here first, I’m swearing off dark nail polish forever.  Or at least for the next manicure.

Then my fab $4 headband from Target snapped in half during my mid-morning tea break.  At least I had some extra bobby pins in my make up case.

What’s next?

One of the benefits of working part-time is that I have Fridays off.  One of the benefits of visiting my family in Detroit is that my favorite hairdresser works there.  As luck would have it, last Friday I was in Detroit AND my hairdresser had an opening.  This made the idea of traveling alone with my son on a plane a lot easier to digest.

My Friday in Detroit started out perfect.  The flight was on time, and my kid didn’t scream his head off on the plane (he didn’t sleep either, but that’s another story).  And even though my roots were starting to take on a life of their own, I knew a better coiffure was in my near future.  

Then the inevitable happened.  Just as I landed, I got a meeting request at the exact time when my hairdresser would be putting the finishing touches on my new ‘do.  

Some women have to make hard choices between their work and their family.  My tough decision was more like this: cancel my hair appointment or ditch the conference call.

So I did what every Type A mother in a beauty crisis would do.  I told myself I could do both.  I figured my stylist could speed up his work and I could listen to the call on mute as they were putting the finishing touches on my hair.  It was a lofty goal indeed.

From the moment I checked in at the front desk of the salon I set forth my edict: I need to leave here at 4:15 on the dot.  The receptionist and staff seemed on board with my plan.  Seconds after I put on the gown I was in the chair, my stylist at the ready.  Everyone understood my need for speed.

They were an efficient team.  Twenty-five minutes into the process my color was setting.  One hour-and-a-half to go before my conference call.  Things were looking good.  The foils came off, I got a great shampoo massage, and the cutting began.  But as my hair was being dried, disaster struck.  Somewhere between my obsessive BlackBerry checking and impatient foot tapping the highlights became overprocessed. My hair was too light.  A bad hair day was imminent.

What to do?  I now only had 40 minutes to fix the color, finish the cut and get a blow-out.  I started to panic.

“The semipermanent color only needs to sit on your hair for 15 minutes to tone down the highlights,” I was told.

Great.  Twenty-five minutes to go.  I got my Bluetooth headset ready.  The hairdresser paged his assistant to come help.  Fifteen minutes to go.  This was not looking good.

“I really need you to take off that earpiece so I can finish cutting your hair,” I was told.

But, but, I only have 5 minutes until my VERY important meeting!  Obviously my plan wasn’t working out.  My headset was now covered in hair dye and my hair was starting to look like something out of the Muppets.  So I had to make an executive decision.  I needed to get out of the conference call.

Two e-mails later and I was able to concentrate on the day’s top assignment - getting the perfect haircut.  It was so worth it.  My Friday afternoon worked out after all.

What would YOU have done?

Tags: bad hair day, beauty tips, work-life balance

I’ve been using Aquaphor for years as a lip balm, but an NMF tipped me off to another great use for the ointment - eye cream.  It’s goopy constitution will nourish and protect your delicate under eyes just as it does your baby’s bum.  I’ve been trying it for the past few nights, and I can already tell that my under eyes are less swollen and red. Ahh… goodbye fancy eye cream, hello Aquaphor.

Tags: Baby Products, Beauty Tips

Our company’s annual holiday party is tonight.  It’s my third party, but first as a mom, so I think the rules are a little bit different for me.  Some dos and don’ts for moms at work holiday parties:

Do feel free to dance to the music; it’s a good chance to show your coworkers that you’re still alive.
Don’t get caught karaoke-ing “Like a Virgin” - you never know who’s got a cell phone camera out there and where your children may find those photos online (this is NOT a personal experience).

Do get dolled up for work that day; spend the 15 extra minutes to wash and dry your hair!
Don’t wear anything remotely similar to the photo to the left (Thank you, Tamara and Jeffrey).

Do gorge yourself on all the party apps. I’m quite sure they’re better than any dinner you were going to have at home.
Don’t stuff the dinner rolls in your purse for lunch tomorrow.  That’s not being a resourceful mom, it’s just tacky.

Do have a drink, or two (or three), if you please. You did get the night off for a reason.
Don’t overdo it. Your husband will NOT be sympathetic tomorrow and get up with the kids when you don’t feel well.

Enjoy the holiday party season!

Technorati Tags: holiday parties, working mom, mom fashion, office fashion

If the eyes are the window to the soul, then your nails are the window into how bad of a week you’ve had.  This is especially true this season.  That’s because this season is the season of dark nails.  From burgundy to black, darker shades of polish are what everyone is wearing.  From WAHMs to SAHMs, I’ve seen dark nails lurking in every corner of the mom world.

It used to be that we could get by easily with our “Sugar Daddy” and “Sweetheart” and be as hands on in our mom life as we could.  That’s the thing about light nail color, it doesn’t show squat.  A chip, a smudge, no one can tell.

Not so much with the new fall palette.  So while there’s no doubt that Chanel’s Vamp looks great on a teenager, I wondered, how do these dark colors work on a mom?  So I put dark nail polish to the test, wearing various shades over the past few weeks.  The results? Read on:

I’ve actually been wearing Essie’s “Wicked” for a little while, but I hadn’t yet gone to the true dark side until last week, when I tried OPI’s “Lincoln Park After Dark.” A purple/ midnight hue, it looked fabulous in the bottle.  My nails looked great when I left the salon and I thought I had found my new regular color.  But when I tested the color out doing mom duties, Lincoln Park After Dark ended up looking more like Lincoln Park With a Bad Hangover (Exhibit photo to the left).  

Chip after chip after chip occurred as I typed on my computer, washed my son’s bottles and attended play groups.  I was ready for a new manicure after only 3 days (I didn’t get them done at my favorite spot, Paint, in Chicago, though)!  My other NMFs agree on the difficulties of wearing dark nails and sighed in sympathy at my ragged digits. 

So what’s a fashionable mom to do?  Your nails are an easy way to feign a fashionable appearance.  If you can keep them looking reasonably good, you can appear to look somewhat put together, even if your home is a wreck and your hair is dirty.  You can shut that window of doubt on what’s really happening with your beauty routine.  However, with this new trend, one chip of your nail means you look trashy instead of trendy.

I try to salvage my dark nails by buying the color and touching up in between manicures.  A little polish and Seche Vite top coat can go a long way to preserving your nail dignity. I also always try to wear gloves when I do the dishes and wash the bottles and clean up the kitchen (wearing them while typing at work is near impossible). There is one good thing about dark nail polish - it doesn’t show all the dirt after a long day with baby.

But, overall, while I’ll stick out this trend for a little while longer,  I’m not ready to hang up my “Ballet Slippers” just yet.

For moms on the go who are sick of all the kiddie games, finally something for us! Fellow blogger Busymom.net points out the new Sephora Monopoly Game for the beauty lover in all of us. Please, I don’t want to go to jail for a bad hair day!