Just when I thought the Mommy Wars debate was dying off…

16th March 2008

Just when I thought the Mommy Wars debate was dying off…

posted in Working Moms, Blogging Rants, Mommy Wars, SAHM stuff |

It seems to have reared its ugly head all over the internet and blogosphere again. I’m all for ending the Mommy Wars, but I’m also all for people articulating their feelings and points of view on the topic. To get a sense of how heated this debate still is, you should all check out the interesting discussions on these two blog posts:

Work It Mom! is currently featuring an article by Leslie Bennetts, author of The Feminine Mistake (which I wrote about way back when), that has set off a firestorm of comments and a response by the site’s founder, Nataly. I personally think Ms. Bennetts probably has some nuggets of wisdom in her writing, but found her article a bit off-putting. I think it’s absurd to quantify or generalize the term “happiness” and that we all have to define it for ourselves as mothers and women and people, not by whether or not we work or not. I also applaud Nataly for putting different opinions on her site. We’re all not always going to agree with one another and that’s what is great about the internet and its various communities. Just don’t let it get too personal, people.
Speaking of personal attacks, Stephanie, a.k.a. Lawyer Mama, is taking some serious heat for a blog post she wrote last week about the scheduling of her son’s friend’s birthday party during a weekday time when she’s at work. The ensuing debate and discussion underscore how mothers really judge each other. (You’ll notice I’m not participating in such debate, because I won’t opine either way! I am allowed to take a neutral stand on the internets, right?)
And to round it all off, Chicago Crain’s Business published an article this week featuring a few moms’ stories about working vs. staying at home. It doesn’t cover any new territory, but any article that has a headline, “Great friends –until they had kids,” is always going to get me. The mommy wars are so much more fun with a sensational!! headline!!

Ok, I’m off to eat bon bons and watch Oprah re-runs, because, well, you know, that’s all us SAHMs do anyway…

Tags: mommy wars, Leslie Bennetts, Work It! Mom, DC Metro Moms

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1 On March 16th, 2008, Irish Mom said:

It stinks that as women its a shame we don’t support each other. I am fortunate to work part time and love to think I have the best of both worlds. I work twice a week and get to spend the rest of the week with my kiddies. I am blessed with a great paying job, even part time. I love that I can contribute to my family. I love what I do (as much as I may complain). Its very rewarding. Sometimes I think it would be nice to sit home, sometimes I am a little jealous of those that do. I also get slack from the other moms at work who are full time and work tons of OT. I mentioned our family wants to go to Disney and how expensive it was. One mom had the nerve to say, “well we know YOU won’t be contributing”?!?! I was like WTF bee-yotch?!?! I do work, I do contribute!!!! Not that it is any of HER business. This summer I plan on cutting back my hours even more, because that is what will work best for ME and MY FAMILY!! Just my $.02 (actually more like $1.50, I tend to blab!!)

Now I am off to send my kids to daycare & eat bon bons cause thats what part-time working moms do lol

2 On March 17th, 2008, PunditMom said:

Oh, Self-Made Mom, you took the words out of my mouth. While Leslie Bennetts thinks we women are our own worst enemies if we don’t take her advice, I think we’re our own worst enemies when we can’t have respectful discussions about our differences. I was shocked to see Bennett’s article at Work It! Mom, and was equally shocked to see the comments that LawyerMama got.

How about this? Let’s leave this sort of sniping to the men-folk, and stick with supporting each other in whatever decisions we make that we believe are best for our families?

Or is that too radical?

3 On March 17th, 2008, Alex Elliot said:

Somehow I missed all this. It’s so interesting to me that so many people claim to value individuality and want their kids to be themselves and do what makes them happy yet when other adults are being individual and themselves, we judge them for it.