Sorry, having a pet is nothing like having a kid
posted in Working Moms, Mom Rants |
To all my animal-loving colleague,
Thank you for sharing the adorable photos of your furry friend with me. I had no idea they actually made sweaters for dogs. Er, make it that people actually put the sweaters on their dogs. I especially love the photo of Toto with the bow in his (her?) hair. It’s a very becoming look on a Schnauzer.
However, when our conversation turned to the difficulties of business travel, work commitments and general stress levels of owning a pet, I must admit I started to tune out. Sorry, having a pet is nothing like having a kid. Even if he (she?) is the love of your life.
For one, you actually get to leave Toto unaccompanied for hours on end without supervision. In those instances, Toto can make his (her?) own decisions about eating, drinking, sleeping and peeing. Well, hopefully not about peeing. Toto can choose to stare out the window in a daze or chase his (her?) ball around and around and around. Toto can get up and down with ease onto the furniture, the bed or wherever he feels like sleeping or resting. No baby gates! No childproofing cabinets!
In addition, Toto can clean himself and make himself presentable upon your arrival home with little assistance of a wipe or powder. An accident on the floor, while unfortunate, can usually be cleaned up in one fell swoop as opposed to the leaky-up-the-back diaper explosion I encountered yesterday.
Now this is not to say it’s not difficult being a pet owner. I’m sure it’s hard to find reliable pet care. I mean, walking Toto and picking up his messes does take a certain amount of skill. But at least you don’t have to worry about if your sitter is sticking your kid in his crib so she can take care of “personal matters.” I know pets need stimulation too, but somehow I don’t think “we’re working on learning our colors” is part of your daily vernacular. I’m just saying.
As far as planning ahead, however, for business trips, I can hardly pity you. I believe one month’s notice is ample time to line up doggie day care. While the whining of your pooch in the kennel must be tough to listen to, it’s got nothing on a clingy baby screaming “mommmmmyyyy” as you rush into a cab with your coat half buttoned.
So fair warning: the next time you try to comiserate with me about the struggles of being a “parent” to something your dog, please excuse me if I stop paying attention.
Signed,
Your bitchy coworker
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