Self-Made Mom

By now, you know that my nanny is quite religious and that on one occasion her beliefs have conflicted with a proposed activity for my son.  By now you know that I’m on nanny #3 and that our relationship has had its tenuous moments.  And by now, because I have not mentioned it in quite awhile, you must know (or at least think) that things are actually working out (this is usually when the phrase “jinx” could be used) and that things are relatively calm on the child care front.

Because, by now, my nanny and I are at the point in our relationship where we’re finally letting down our guard, pushing some comfort zones and letting our personalities and interests enter conversations where to-do lists and questions commonly prevailed.  Thing is, with nanny/ mommy relationships it’s always something.  Just when you’re on the precipice of thinking everything is perfect, something happens to throw off your mojo just a bit.

Like when I opened up the CD player in my basement yesterday and saw this:

Loosely translated: What the F is my son listening to?

Yes, my son is enrolled in a Jewish pre-pre school program.  Yes, I celebrate the Jewish holidays to the best of my abilities.  But this doesn’t mean that I necessarily promote religion outside of this context.  Or promote anything that has the word gospel in it.  Ok, I’m not gonna lie and say that the music wasn’t catchy or that I didn’t smile when “Hava Nagila” came on.  Or that it’s not touching that someone took the time to burn a CD (hope it’s not pirated) for my music-loving son.

But I can’t say I get that “tingly all good feeling” when I think of my son sitting in our basement all afternoon playing while a Spanish version of “Canto de Moises” drones on in the background.

Oy gevalt, the guilt.

The Sunday night after Thanksgiving is by far my most unfavorite night of the year. My favorite holiday is over, I feel fat and I have to fake being motivated for the next three weeks until I get more time off from work.  Some might argue that January 1 is the biggest letdown day of the year.  That on January 1, you finally realize the holidays are over, you don’t get another freebie day off work until President’s Day (maybe MLK day, but maybe not) and if you live north of Florida, the weather pretty much sucks.

But as far as I see it, tonight, the Sunday night post-gorge fest epiphany I’m having that I have to look sharp, make small talk about turkey and answer my phone tomorrow feels worse than any New Year’s hangover.

You?

I have nothing very thought provoking nor insightful to say other than if I hear my mother cry out in disbelief “did you know that a typical Thanksgiving meal has over 5,000 calories?” once more I may lose it.  There’s nothing quite like Jewish mother guilt on top of Thanksgiving guilt.

If only I had the foresight to take a photo of the “porno” turkey before we put it in the oven.  Don’t ask.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Me: “Guess what, I just joined Facebook”

Younger, hipper cousin: “Hwwwahhhh ha ha ha.  That’s hilarious. YOU on Facebook!”

I then proceeded to toss to the back of the closet the clothes I just purchased at Forever 21 and turned off The Bachelor.  That guy was a total jerk, anyway.

Dad: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Just joined Facebook, because I don’t want to be the last person standing without a Facebook account.”

Dad: “What’s JoinedFacebook?”

After suffering through a painful trip to Abercrombie today to buy Hannukah presents for my tween-age nieces, I was feeling pretty old, but now I’m starting to feel young again.  Thanks, Dad.

Sometimes I think I shouldn’t be a blogger.  I never remember to link to anyone and when people send me things to review it takes me an ungodly amount of time to write about it.  But a nice reprieve at my parents’ house this week is allowing me to catch up on a few outstanding links, reviews and miscellaneous bloggy-ness that I’ve long been forgetting. Thank goodness I’m not that popular.

• First up, a new product review of two alternatives to Post-It notes.  If you are one of the first 10 people to comment on the necessity of better list-making skills, I’ll send you a cute little notebook.  So scat!
• When you come back, be sure to read my take on the upcoming holidays.  It’s only the week before Thanksgiving and I’m already sick of Christmas music.  Yep, I think I’m missing that special “holiday spirit” gene.
• I don’t get that politically active, but when it comes to the health and safety of our children I’ll spread the word. The Consumers Union is holding a major awareness campaign to help educate retailers and shoppers about safe toy options.  Check out their site or MySpace page for more information.

Ahh, that feels better.

In my short-lived working mom career, I’ve learned that telling a client you work part-time is about as fun as telling your boss you have to leave early because your nanny called and said you were out of diapers.  Luckilly, I haven’t had to do this much in the past year and a half, which I guess is bad for business, but good for my mojo. 

But just this week I acquired two new clients and have uttered my dreaded mantra:

“Just so you know, I work part-time.”

It’s my passive agressive way of saying - sorry, but I’m not always around at your beck and call.  And I hate saying it. But I have to.

Because what happens if I don’t set the expectations right from the start?  People will be let down and hard feelings will ensue.  This is why I can’t stay in the closet.  Because I can’t put on a facade when I’m not around 24/7.

So I was honest, and you know what? It wasn’t so bad at first.  Turns out one of my new clients is a mom too and she thought my schedule was “perfect.”

Too good to be true? Maybe.

After we basked in the afterglow of my “perfect schedule” she said:

As long as you’re around when we need you.

Touché.  Part-time really only works well part of the time.

I work part-time, so my coworkers don’t see me as often at work as maybe some other suckers people who punch the clock 40 hours (ha!) a week.  And because I work in an office of 300+ it could literally be years before I run into someone familiar on another floor.

Like today.

Today was the double whammy where I happened to run into two old work friends who I hadn’t seen in awhile.  And they both noticed my new haircut. But that’s about it.

I cut 6+ inches off my mane and all I get is: ”You got a new haircut.”

Do you like the ‘do?

Which leads me to ask - why bother saying anything at all?  It’s like telling a 40-week preggo she looks like she’s going to pop.  There are certain things you don’t say to new mothers. Especially those who’ve decided to go with the ubiquitous “I cut my hair off after I had the baby because I didn’t have time to dry my long tresses” plan.  Herewith, my list of things one should never say to a newly-working mom:

1. “Do you need some Clearasil?”
2. “Hey, I just noticed - it looks like you have some spit up (or is it yogurt?) on your shirt.”
3. “Your hair looks nice in a ponytail.”
4. “Are those shoes from Target?” (I said that today and got an eye-roll and a frown. Not good. So it’s now on the list.)
5. “It’s a good things leggings are in style this year.”
6. “Can I buy you a coffee?”
7. “They’re having a special on sweet potatoes in the cafeteria today.”
8. “I just got my nails done. Don’t they look good?”

I couldn’t quite get to all ten.  I guess once in awhile I can be ”nice.”  What’s on your list?

That’s how I was greeted into a new decade on the eve of my big 3-0 birthday.  While getting beer at a basketball game.  Not too long ago, I would have gladly handed over my license for a chance to prove my legality. Now, I don’t even qualify for ID checking anymore.  Is this what turning 30 has come to?

I’ve been struggling to find the words to record this memory of a major milestone in my life, but everything I want to write just sounds so cliche.  Just like all the cards my friends and family got me telling me what a good shopper I’ve become. (Am I that shallow!? Really?)

Every time I’ve gone to write about turning 30, I’ve found that there really are no adequate words to describe how it feels to pretty much have everything you had hoped for at such a young age - happy marriage, healthy child, somewhat financial security, decent job.  I mean, if you had told me ten years ago that my life would be like this today, I would have looked at you with that same quizzical expression I gave my friend who told me that leg warmers are back in style.  It just wouldn’t seem possible.

So I’m not going to kvetch about entering this new decade. I’m not going to woefully look back at my twentysomething years.  Because I don’t really care that Mr. Beer-pourer at the United Center didn’t need to check my ID anymore.

There are other, more meaningful measures that I’ve realized I need to live my life by.

Happy birthday to me.

Getting dressed up and going to work occasionally has its privileges.  Like today, for instance.  I was able to wear my favorite new sweater dress and boots (it’s finally dipped below 50 degrees in Chicago, yay!), and could easily justify sneaking away for a few to attend a mom blogger event.  Add to it that I was able to meet up with some blog friends and I nearly forgot that I was on the hook for at least 10 major client deliverables by the end of the day.  This adequately describes a luncheon I went to today put on by a large office supply company (not sure if my firm represents them so not listing them by name yet) to talk about cool tech-y stuff you can buy for the holidays.  Of course, the tech pro on hand to help us all learn about the newest gadgets and gizmos was none other than Beth of Techmamas. She is the tech savvy one.  Me? As I told the crowd: I can buy the gadgets but I can’t seem to use or fix them properly.

However, I am a good note taker and copiously wrote down some thoughts as you peruse the consumer electronic aisles of your favorite stores. 

1. If you’re going to buy a point and shoot digital camera, go for one with a lot of megapixels. 7.1 works. And an optical zoom of 3X doesn’t hurt either.  When the conversation turned to face recognition, though, I admittedly started eating my lunch and tuning out.  They served a good salad, I mean, chocolate.

 

If you look closely, you might see a teensy weensy bit of chocolate cake left. Just a little bit.

2. Digital photo frames are Paris-Hilton-hot right now.  And they’re not as expensive to buy as they might seem.  I want Wendy to buy me the one she has with the wireless card that updates the photos on the frame as they are uploaded to the computer.  Think she’ll pop for it for me?
3. GPS devices give you REAL TIME TRAFFIC updates.  And they’re easy to put in your car.  If you live in Chicago, this is a no brainer.
4. Contrary to popular belief, laptops can be purchased for less than $1000.  And they aren’t made of plastic.  They’re like from a reputable brand. If you’re going to get one of these machines, though, Beth says you should have 2MB of RAM and a 120GB drive.  (I sound so tech-savvy! I’m quitting my day job!)
5. Now, this one is serious.  We all should back up our hard drives to avoid major catastrophes like your computer going to a “blue screen” while your keyboard begins to smoke. (No, this didn’t happen to me, but it sounded good, no?) You can buy a back up drive or go online and back up your system.  Please ’scuse me while I get up off of my lazy ass to go make sure the 71,000 photos I have of junior don’t just disappear now into thin air.

After all of this copious note taking we all then moved on to the display table.  Being the least tech savvy of the bunch, I went straight for the Crayola squeezable paint brushes and had my way with the fair princess.

At least I didn’t splatter the paint all over the new laptop, right?

Going back to my day job now.

Tags: techmamas, tech advice, gadget advice for moms, tech savvy moms,