Self-Made Mom

I gotta come clean here… one of the main reasons I started this blog (almost a year ago!) was because I was bored at work. Very bored.  Business was slow, my old boss had left, and I was floundering at work.  What better time to start writing, right?

Well, the tide has turned and I’m now busier than I’ve ever been since I came back from maternity leave. Which essentially means I have little time to blog or read other blogs. Or e-mail incessantly with my friends.  Or shop. (Ok, I did shop a little last week but half of it was online, so does that really count?)

Case in point: In the next two weeks I have four trips planned. Two personal and two for work.  I can barely do two trips a quarter so I’m not sure how I’m going to get through the next couple of weeks. Plus, we’re losing someone on our team, but the work is increasing. I’m taking on more responsibility, which I am encouraging, but I’m worried that everything else is going to fall by the wayside (like, my roots.)

It was easy to come to work this time last year, roll in at 9, leave at 5, with a shopping date and maybe some errands thrown in. But now, I don’t have time for a lunch break either and my days are so jam-packed that I only noticed last week that wide-leg trousers are in style for fall (hence, why I blew a fortune on one pair. I don’t have time to be picky.) Not to mention I agreed to do a writing gig on the side.

With a new nanny starting and my job responsibilities increasing, it’s going to be an interesting fall, full of opportunity and new challenges.  I know this is what I signed up for in the long run, but there’s something to be said about planning work around your personal life.

At least it’s a long weekend.

My long and drawn out search for the world’s perfect nanny is over! Done. Finito. I called her tonight. She was very excited, and it was sweet. While I may not be in love, I’m in deep like, and I think she’ll be the right fit.  You can’t hurry love, right?

I’m ready to move on and be my old self again. I take that back - I want to be my YOUNG self again. (I think I’ve aged about 10 years this last week.) But first, a list of thank yous:

• Husband- already thanked you
• Mom/ MIL - no more stalking, k?
• Father - same goes for you
• Real-life friends - I owe you a drink
• Blog-life friends - Too bad you don’t live near me, or I’d buy you a drink too
• Brother’s random friend from law school - thanks for the baby sitting offer!
• Seaside nannies - appreciate the gesture - if you weren’t in San Diego I’d be all over it
• Day care fanatics - you convinced me, but not my husband

I went with the gut, and I hope it works out.  And I’m glad to be able to blog about something else for a change.

The end.

Or is it just the beginning?

I’m having one of the strongest candidates I met come over this morning for a few hours so I can see how it goes with her in my home. Thought I’d liveblog it for your voyeuristic enjoyment…

8:30 am- she was waiting for me on my doorstep. I was out for a walk, and was late. Whoops. Good that she was early, though.

8:45 am - headed to park. Her swing-pushing skills are up to par.

9:15 am - at home. They’re playing in the basement. She’s singing some “dinosaur” song I’ve never heard of. 

9:30 am - she’s putting him to bed right now. I hear books crashing on the floor in there and a meek voice saying “mama.” G-d it’s tough not to go in there.

9:40 am - son’s in bed. Nanny just realized she left her cell phone in his bedroom. SH**! She went in. All is fine. Put that baby on vibrate, would ya?

9:46 am - I’m going to run some errands and see how she does on her own for an hour. I gotta try it right?

10:14 am - haven’t left yet. Was talking to nanny. She has TWO other offers. Ugh! Need to decide fast.

11:00 am (update, this is about as live as I can get) - nanny is doing a good job. She doesn’t have the most exuberant personality, but she’s sweet. She’s probably just as nervous as I am. I think I could get used to her.

11:30 am - she’s gone. It’s now decision time.

At least I’m not alone in being nervous around the nanny today!

I’m full of empty threats about quitting my job because I can’t find a decent nanny.  But sometimes things happen that bring me back to earth about why I need to work. 

For one, if I stayed home, I’d be forced to learn how to wrap birthday presents, as I wouldn’t be able to play the “I didn’t have time, I was in the office all day that’s why your kid’s present looks like crap” card.

Not just a nanny flunkie, but a wrapping flunkie as well.

And, I would have no reason to be one of the new contributors to one of my favorite working mom websites- Mommy Track’d!  Check out my post this week about how much I love going to work on Mondays.  That is, when I have a stable child care situation. (Ok, I’ve got to stop bitching about the nanny situation. Soon, I promise.)

Tags: Mommy Track’d, working mom, writing mama, nanny

I’m still going and going and going on the nanny hunt.  We’ve met some “good” candidates, but I’m not falling in love with anyone. I’m not sure if I’m being too picky, but since I got burned last week, I don’t want to rush into anything.

Of course, I don’t want to write about anything else, either, so I’m sorry that my blog has been painfully boring lately.  It doesn’t help that everywhere I turn people are writing about nannies.  I’m still threatening to quit.  But my husband says that’s crazy.  I just hope I can find someone soon before my batteries run out.

[This is the post I was writing when my nanny called to quit. In case you care.] 

In an effort to create stimulating conversation with my husband and expedite my recovery from a blogging overdose, I came up with a crafty plan for “date night” last weekend.  My husband had taken the first step to actually book us a reservation well in advance of the night (Outlook e-mail invite included.)  While I appreciated his proactiveness, I knew that if I didn’t think ahead as well, we’d spend our one night out alone in two weeks mulling over the usual: job, kid, money.

I don’t think so. I wanted this night to be special, even if it was just a regular date.  We were going to our favorite sushi joint, and I didn’t want to sip my apple martini rehashing how junior ate two (TWO!) whole veggie bites for dinner.  And then made #2.  Spicy kani rolls are tasty, but not when you have an image of a large load in your mind.  You get my point.

So I made a list of some things I wanted to discuss over dinner and told my husband he had to do the same.  Of course, there were rules to our conversational engagement.  My main conversation ban was that we couldn’t talk about our son.  Not at all. His main rule was that we couldn’t talk about how I was going to spend any money.  Touche. 

We were off.

So what happened?

My husband actually started telling me things that were going on at work that I hadn’t heard about in awhile.  I lamented the misfortune of my manicurist (don’t laugh!) and her desperation to visit her daughter who she hasn’t seen in 5 years.  We talked some current events (I won’t bore you with details) and made fun of the lady sitting next to us with the REALLY LOUD VOICE.  By then, I was two drinks in and our rolls arrived.

And we all know it’s impossible to talk with your mouth full of sushi.  Mission accomplished.

You all know I have nanny on the brain this week, but I want to interrupt this regularly scheduled nanny search update to tell you about my husband.  And how incredibly supportive and understanding he’s been through this aggravating episode of working motherhood.  It affects working fatherhood too, as I’ve realized this week.

Because the burden of child care rests squarely on my shoulders, my husband is typically in the shadows.  But not this week.  This week my husband is with me in lock step through everything - interviews, investigating, debating, and laughing.  He’s upset and angry about what happened too, even if in the past, he hasn’t always been around for the day-to-day interaction. 

But when it really matters, he’s there.  Like today, when he took off work to care for our son.  I can count on one hand the number of weekdays he’s taken off in the past year.  And for him to do it today, and do it with gusto, and continue to be the great father he is makes me want to say one thing:

Thank you.

Hmm… maybe what I really need is a manny. 

Tags: manny, nanny

Things aren’t going terribly well in the Great Nanny Hunt of 2007.  Let me put it this way: quantity doesn’t mean quality.  Meaning, my husband and I only requested one callback out of six candidates to meet our son.  Could it have been that one had absolutely NO experience as a nanny?  Or was it the comment one of the potential nannies made about the “mean Jewish family” she used to work for? Hello, did she not SEE the bend in my nose, brown eyes and frizzy hair? (In her defense, it IS rather humid in Chicago this week.) Whatever it was, yesterday put me over the edge. 

So I did what any insane working mom with-no-nanny would do. I went on shopping bender. It’s the perfect antidote to the blogging and nanny-searching bender.  Especially when the purchases arrive the next day like these:

I bet you’re wondering what came in such a HUGE box. Or why I have two.

Or when they are really expensive, even though you could get a great knock-off at the Gap, like these:

There’s no way I’m linking to the brand name or price of these khakis.

Or when they are really pointless, but totally cute, like these:

Neither rain nor gloom of night nor whatever stays this mommy from the swift completion of her nanny hunt.

Ahhh… I feel so much better now.  And really, aren’t I, in essence, saving money this week because I’m not paying for a nanny? If you care, that’s how I am going to rationalize all of this to my husband when he finds out what I did.

Just when I was getting a little more calm about the nanny situation, I happened upon this essay.  Great. Now I don’t only need to find a nanny, but a new BFF.  I want to know which editor thought this was a good idea to publish today! And then string her up by her toes!  Ok, I’m just kidding. Maybe just string her up by her hemp-soled sneakers.

I guess I never really realized how powerful the blogosphere was until I took a little break and came back with a vengeance.  I can’t thank you all enough for your thoughtful comments and ideas for me in my search for a new nanny.  I spent the better part of yesterday pouring through online bulletin boards, craigslist and sending out e-mails with lots of apostrophes and capital letters (HELP!!!) to my friends in search of nanny #3.

Oh, you thought I am actually working this week? Ha! Not when there’s a nanny to find.  That’s my main job for now.  And being the Type A I am I now have six seemingly suitable nannies lined up for interviews over the next two days.  Who are they, you ask? An interesting question.  Because just after people stopped asking me if I’m going to quit, they asked me what kind of nanny I want.  Foreign? Young? Single?  I’m not totally above stereotyping the nanny (I love how Tibetan nannies are “in vogue” right now).  In fact, my list of candidates so far is as diverse as the U.N.

• Polish
• Belizean
• Argentinian
• Mexican
• Tibetan (see, not above stereotyping)

But I’m not picking on nationality.  I need to know more than where they’re from.  I need to know if they’ve got the goods.  So I’m wondering if you all want to help me by sending me via my comment box some questions you would ask the nannies I’m meeting. I have a few ideas, but since I’ve failed this twice now, I think I might need a little extra help.  And I’m thinking we can take this idea one step further and once I’ve got all the candidates and questions and answers written up you could even help me vote to pick my nanny.  Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Any takers?  If you send me a good question, I’ll send you one of these funny new “working mom” greeting cards I just read about.  Just kidding- couldn’t someone have come up with a better punch line for life as a working mom?  Like, did you hear the one about the nanny who quit giving two days notice? Oh wait, I forgot, that’s not that funny.