Self-Made Mom

I read an interesting article this week in USA Today, branding a new set of moms - Alpha Moms.  According to the article, Alpha moms are:

…educated, tech-savvy, Type A moms with a common goal: mommy excellence. She may or may not work outside the home, but at home, she views motherhood as a job that can be mastered with diligent research. She’s also wired — online 87 minutes a day…

In addition, 

An Alpha Mom typically has money to spend, and — key for marketers — she is, as the label implies, a leader of the pack who influences how other moms spend.

Ok… so I get it… marketers liked the “buzz name” for a certain type of mom and now will do anything to get that mom to use her superpowers to get her and her friends to try and buy certain products.  Makes sense to me.  Hell, I work in PR.

Problem is, I don’t quite fit into the Alpha mom genre (I may be Type A, but I’m not deluded enough to think motherhood could be mastered), nor the yoga mom genre (these moms don’t buy their kids anything and that is NOT fun), nor the Beta mom label (I like my house to be a little neater, sorry!) and so I’m left wondering, where’s my group?  Since it doesn’t quite exist, I’m creating a new label for moms, or, well, me. (Haven’t you noticed how selfish I am yet?)  The name? Delta Mom.  A Delta Mom is fickle about products she buys, a chronic plan-canceler (there’s always something else she HAS to do), a half-listener about advice she’s given (she really only listens to herself), and always changing her mind about what makes sense for her her baby.  Read on and see if you are a Delta Mom too.  I could really use some friends.*

Characteristics of a Delta Mom:

• Doesn’t really care what brand of diapers to buy as long as they don’t leak pee-pee all over the floor. Occasional diaper rash is acceptable.
• Buys the cheapest bath products she can find as long as they remove the crusty-formula residue build-up behind the ears.  No, we don’t believe in internet rumors!
• But, she IS on the internet at least 90 minutes a day researching things to buy - like a great pair of heels she can wear to work. Or the park.
• Will tell her NMF that she’ll meet to help pick her out a new stroller, only to reschedule at the last minute due to an unforseen long return line at Target.
• Makes a home-cooked meal every night.  As long as it comes from Trader Joe’s (as good as home cooked my home cooking.)
• Compulsively buys her son toys but chooses them by how well they match the decor of her house and how low she can turn the volume down. (Teaching second-language skills is optional.)
• Knows the details of all her favorite TV shows, but has no clue what time her husband came home from work.
• Tunes out medicinal advice from anyone unless they have a D.R., D.O, or R.N. in their name.  We are very, very neurotic about meds.
• Knows deep down she really needs to baby-proof her house (all her friends have told her she should), but can’t bring herself to put up ugly accessories all over her painted wood cabinets. *Sigh*
• Realizes that it’s not worth it to be the leader of the pack.  It’s much easier to let another mom test things out and tell you how not to do it.

Delta Moms, I know you’re out there, just waiting to be marketed to.

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* Full disclosure, and PLEASE don’t laugh, I was a member of the Delta Delta Delta sorority back in the day. Waaaay back. I put this at the end so you wouldn’t stop reading my post on account of my stupid college mistakes.

Tags: Alpha mom, Beta mom, yoga mom, marketing to moms

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