Self-Made Mom

Sometimes I feel there are a dearth of blogs that I really want to read all the time.  Thankfully, I talked my friend Monica into resurrecting her uber-famous “Kitty Time” blog.  Thank you, Monica.  We welcome you back into the blogosphere.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, new mothers are dropping out of the workforce at a higher rate.  According to the data, the percentage of married mothers of infants in the workforce dropped from 59 percent in 1997 to 51 percent in 2004.  Reasons cited for the drop include mothers wanting to nurture their children during the first year, and the increase of childcare.

Not suprisingly, other reasons cited are workplace related- not enough flexible return-to-work options, or lack of extended maternity leave.  Heck, read this story and you’ll see why us moms are tentative about returning to work.

Point is, as I’ve said before - if you lose moms in the workforce, you’ll lose employees who have stamina, the ability to multitask like nobody’s business and who can cope with long, tiring hours.  Employers - it pays to keep your moms coming back to work!

This may sound contrary to some of my recent rants on new celebrity moms, and I’ll probably take some flack for this post, but I can sympathize with Gwen Stefani.*  Her newest album, “The Sweet Escape” is reviewed in the December 4 New York Times, and well, the review ain’t that sweet. 

The critic, Jon Pareles, sets out to show that Stefani, after having her son
Kingston earlier this year, is a “hit making star and a new mother who only represents herself.”  One would usually think this would be a word of praise – a woman who’s found herself being a mom.  Not so much.  According to the critic, Stefani’s new album “repeats some of the old tricks with less flair.”  He goes on to say on the album she’s “either complaining or apologizing.”  Let’s just say the last word of the review is “whiny.”

Sound familiar? It does to me. Considering I’ve only been back to work 4 months since my son was born I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve apologized for not remembering what the latest industry “buzzword” is, complained about my poor- performing nanny or whined about how early my son gets up in the morning when I have to be “on” in the office all day.  Going back to work after baby is hard.  It’s all I can do to “repeat the old tricks” I remember from when I worked before I had baby.  I try to do it with more flair, but sometimes I fail. 

So why isn’t Stefani allowed to express her new mom frustrations through her music?  Does it make her music bad?  Can a man who’s never birthed a child adequately critique the tone and content of music of a new mother? I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer these questions since I’m not a music critic (clearly), but I’m pretty impressed that she was able to even put out an album a mere 6 months since her son was born.  So while Pareles may think Stefani’s latest album sounds “forced and secondhand,” she’s getting kudos from this new mom. You go Gwen!

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* If you are wondering why all of a sudden I did an about face on this celeb-mom, I do think there is a distinct difference in between a NEW mom trying to make a comeback after her FIRST baby (Stefani) vs. an experienced mom changing gears in her career (Couric).  Maybe I’ll see it differently when my son is older.

If the eyes are the window to the soul, then your nails are the window into how bad of a week you’ve had.  This is especially true this season.  That’s because this season is the season of dark nails.  From burgundy to black, darker shades of polish are what everyone is wearing.  From WAHMs to SAHMs, I’ve seen dark nails lurking in every corner of the mom world.

It used to be that we could get by easily with our “Sugar Daddy” and “Sweetheart” and be as hands on in our mom life as we could.  That’s the thing about light nail color, it doesn’t show squat.  A chip, a smudge, no one can tell.

Not so much with the new fall palette.  So while there’s no doubt that Chanel’s Vamp looks great on a teenager, I wondered, how do these dark colors work on a mom?  So I put dark nail polish to the test, wearing various shades over the past few weeks.  The results? Read on:

I’ve actually been wearing Essie’s “Wicked” for a little while, but I hadn’t yet gone to the true dark side until last week, when I tried OPI’s “Lincoln Park After Dark.” A purple/ midnight hue, it looked fabulous in the bottle.  My nails looked great when I left the salon and I thought I had found my new regular color.  But when I tested the color out doing mom duties, Lincoln Park After Dark ended up looking more like Lincoln Park With a Bad Hangover (Exhibit photo to the left).  

Chip after chip after chip occurred as I typed on my computer, washed my son’s bottles and attended play groups.  I was ready for a new manicure after only 3 days (I didn’t get them done at my favorite spot, Paint, in Chicago, though)!  My other NMFs agree on the difficulties of wearing dark nails and sighed in sympathy at my ragged digits. 

So what’s a fashionable mom to do?  Your nails are an easy way to feign a fashionable appearance.  If you can keep them looking reasonably good, you can appear to look somewhat put together, even if your home is a wreck and your hair is dirty.  You can shut that window of doubt on what’s really happening with your beauty routine.  However, with this new trend, one chip of your nail means you look trashy instead of trendy.

I try to salvage my dark nails by buying the color and touching up in between manicures.  A little polish and Seche Vite top coat can go a long way to preserving your nail dignity. I also always try to wear gloves when I do the dishes and wash the bottles and clean up the kitchen (wearing them while typing at work is near impossible). There is one good thing about dark nail polish - it doesn’t show all the dirt after a long day with baby.

But, overall, while I’ll stick out this trend for a little while longer,  I’m not ready to hang up my “Ballet Slippers” just yet.